The List: Doing is the opposite of forgetting

After Grace died, I had to DO something.

For me, it started with planning a service. And crying. And reading. And listening to other stillbirthmamas who remember and honor their children -- some of them 20, 30, or 40 years later.

So I started collecting. Some unlikely things. Angels. Bible readings. Books on dragonflies. Others, not so unusual: self-help books, quotes on scraps of paper, letters and poems from other mourning mothers, worry stones, roses.

And advice.

Some of it I've followed 1 year out. Some I'd still like to. And some I haven't heard of yet. All of this you'll find one way or another, some day, in these pages.

Consider this your open invitation to share you list. Heaven knows, there's a lot of not-forgetting going on.

Tell your story
Learn from those who lost long ago
Plan a service
Pick some music (and why this is so hard!)
Write your baby a letter
Scream in the shower (or anywhere else)
Plant a garden
Delete old emails – and other mindless chores to do in mourning
Remember your baby: The days after loss
Sift through the cheese
Spend that baby shower money - even though it breaks your heart
Read a book #1: Quotes on baby loss from unlikely sources
Read a book #2: Quotes on baby loss from more likely sources
Thank your nurses
Make a bracelet
Splurge on jewelry
Donate to other moms who have lost – and are losing – their babies
Remember your baby: 1 year out
Get counseling
Join a support group
Talk to the chaplain
Get help for your marriage
Write in your journal
Remember your baby: October 15
Remember your baby: The hospital memorial service
Find others: Still.birthmamas in the blogosphere
Explain the loss to your family
Explain the loss to yourself!
Sort through the baby room
Don’t be afraid #1: Forgetting
Don’t be afraid #2: Remembering
Talk to your husband
Try again